


Read Between The Lines

by endlessnight



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Confessions, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Multi, Secret Crush, Teacher Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), a bit of jean/armin as well, asexual hanji, eruri hints, levi/hanji friendship, wet dreams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2016-09-15
Packaged: 2018-05-05 12:20:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5374982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessnight/pseuds/endlessnight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'It's just high school', Eren thought. He didn't believe some kind of miracle would walk in while he wasn't paying attention during a lecture and actually make a difference in his boring life. He was 16. Ordinary guy. Not really planning something for his future. Was he going to do something with his life at some point? Probably, but he didn't want to think about it while still in that hell-- school.</p><p>-Or, the teacher!Levi au of my dreams-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yay my first multichapter! It's ereri, I know- sorry i haven't posted anything haikyuu related in the past week but I'm writing a good one and it'll be up soon ;D  
> -I'm going to add the tags while i update-
> 
> (It'll be 10 chapters or so, I guess?)  
> Enjoy!

Funny how your life can change so quickly. A few seconds can make a difference. Catching the bus on time to go to school or missing it. Stepping accidentally into the wrong classroom. Bumping into someone in the hallways. All these little moments made a difference in everyone's life, apparently. Maybe it's because everyone thinks those things mattered for some reason that they actually mean something. People give them a meaning when in reality everything is just chaos. Randomness. There's no such things as fate.

 _It's just high school,_ Eren thought. He didn't believe some kind of miracle would walk in while he wasn't paying attention during a lecture and actually make a difference in his boring life. He was 16. Ordinary guy. Not really planning something for his future. Was he going to do something with his life at some point? Probably, but he didn't want to think about it while still in that hell-- school. 

Eren would have been the type to always come late to class, maybe even when the lesson had already started, but sadly he couldn't afford that lifestyle since his step sister Mikasa went in the same high school as him. She always wanted to arrive at least half an hour early to go study somewhere quiet, so he had to wake up at the break of dawn every morning and try not to kill her for making his life so much harder. 

But on the first day of the new semester Mikasa had already left and Eren didn't realize he was alone in the house, still half asleep and in his pyjamas until it was extremely super crazy late. He ran on the train while the doors were already closing, after leaving the house in a rush, not even sure if he tied up his shoe laces the right way. Eren caught it by the very last second and was quite pleased with himself after that, he considered it to be the first win of the day. Then he sat down and noticed in front of him there was a man, pretty busy reading the book in his hands. They were alone, the whole wagon was silent.

  _Everyone must be already at school_ , he thought.

Eren never found himself interested in other people in general, but this was different somehow: they were alone, to begin with, he had nothing else to focus on, they were sitting in front of each other and the other person hadn't even noticed the teenager staring at him. Eren had to admit this stranger was quite handsome as well. Even though it was weird at first, to enjoy the presence of someone just by their look, and especially because that someone was, in fact, a man, Eren decided he didn't care so he let his eyes wander on the thin figure elegantly sitting there, legs crossed, long fingers holding the book. He had black hair, a fringe covering a bit of his forehead and a quite unique shape of the eyes, nonetheless he was really a handsome man. Maybe those eyes were the thing that made him so fascinating.

 No, Eren thought it was maybe because of his elegant hands. No, it was definitely more than that. His jacket, the way it nicely fit him and the white shirt underneath that revealed just a glimpse of his collarbones; and then, of course, the white skin of his neck, the linear shape of his mouth, lips shut together in an unreadable expression.

 He'd never even think he could find another man so handsome. Had he really been paying attention around himself at all, then? Or was it that no one ever caught his eyes by standing out like that man in front of him right there? Eren didn't know what to think. Hell, he didn't even know if he himself was a pretty average teenager or if he was in some way a little bit attractive. To be totally honest, Eren Jaeger had never shown any interest in anyone of the opposite sex until then, not to mention anyone of the same sex. That man was the first person to actually catch his attention. To rise a bit of curiosity in him. To keep his eyes focused on the thin figure and pretty features.

Eren kept staring at him without blinking for minutes, until he laid his eyes again on the eyebrows of that pretty face, and he noticed finally that the man's eyes were so dark but also so blue and deep. _Oh, shit_. Eren discovered he could now see his eye colour because the man was _staring back_.

 Eren blushed and looked away, feeling a bit lost in his thoughts about that stranger and also kinda sad he obviously couldn't look at him anymore now with a straight face.

He didn't even know his name, yet Eren was frustrated he couldn't spend more time with that man, let alone the fact he probably would never meet him again after the train journey. But those eyes were so dark and yet somehow he thought he could see some kind of sparkle in them. Eren wanted to look again. God, he was almost desperate to look at him again and try to memorize everything he could see in those gorgeous eyes. But it was too late. _Dammit_ , he cursed between his lips. He tried to scold those feelings off while getting off the train, and when he and the man walked towards different directions he felt an emptiness in his chest, a weird kind of sadness and disappointment he'd never experienced before.

 

 

"Sorry I was late!"

"This is the first day of the new semester! We're gonna be introduced to new teachers, you should've been more careful, Eren!" Armin was right, but those words flew in the air while Eren was still thinking about that man and the train journey, clearly not interested in the new classes in the slightest.

 "Mikasa is already sitting in class and I think she reserved some seats for us, let's go Eren!"

They headed to the class. Despite all the encouragement from his friend and classmate Armin and the dead serious look on his step sister Mikasa, Eren was so bored he barely managed not to fall asleep on his desk. Eren didn't honestly know what he would do without his childhood friend Armin and his overprotective step sister Mikasa. Sure, sometimes they were a pain in the ass, but they cared about him a lot and always made sure he wasn't doing anything stupid or careless. School wasn't even that bad if he could spend time around them, after all.

 They were supposed to wait for a new teacher to be introduced to them, a literature teacher apparently. Armin was thrilled, he'd kept talking about it for at least a week before the classes had even started. Eren, like Mikasa and the other classmates, couldn't care less. It was just another man put in charge to judge them and give them homework and honestly, how could Armin even look forward to that?

 "Can we just go home already? We've been waiting for 20 minutes and he's still not here, so obviously-"

 "Eren shut up, he's coming in right now!"

 He wanted to reply something like 'rude, Mikasa, how dare you' but the words got stuck in his throat and he wasn't able to make a noise after what he saw.

 He turned around to see the new professor walking through the door and felt a knot tightening in his stomach. His breakfast was about to kindly leave his body at that point.

The man on the train, the handsome stranger had just walked into the classroom.

 _Shit_.

 He walked to his desk, looked around a bit and took off his jacket. He stood next to the chalkboard, in his white classy shirt, tight black trousers, those eyes looking around and studying all the faces of the new students with an obvious look on his face that read 'you damn brats will learn your place very soon'.

Eren felt a bit sick. More like, a lot sick. Those eyes he had been staring at during the whole train journey were right in front of them. Those eyes he wanted to meet again so badly. The strong shoulders, the black hair, the thin line of his lips, his beautiful white shirt and pants so tight around that- _what the hell are you thinking_ , Eren snapped at himself.  That man he was desperate to see again was standing in front of him now.

_Be careful what you wish for, huh._

He wanted to run away and never come back to school again. What were the chances? How did he end up in that classroom? Why him? But most of all: why did he find that man so fucking attractive?

 A week of classes. A full week of classes had passed but Eren still didn't know what to do about the hot-stranger-on-the-train problem. He never stopped thinking about him, and it didn't help the fact that yes, he was indeed his new literature professor.

 In a week they hadn't done much, except maybe discussing a few english poets and of course before that, establishing the general rules about lessons, tests and homework.

The name was Levi. The new professor told them that was enough for them to know, they needed to refer to him as professor Levi and he didn't care if they said hi to him in the hallways or whatever, he only wanted them to return the homework on the deadline and pay attention, study hard and not fail tests, that was it.

It seemed pretty fair and so everything went fine for that first week.

Well, at least, for everyone except Eren. He never seemed able to concentrate during those lessons, he was always spacing out, too distracted by the man's look.

 

Eren was basically staring at him the whole time. Since the moment professor Levi stepped into that classroom at the beginning of the lesson until he left. Eren dedicated every second of the time they had together to study the man's features. He couldn't care less about what he was saying -though in the back of his mind he knew he should be a bit worried about that, cause soon enough there would have been tests and he was positive he was going to fail them at that rate-.

But Levi- professor Levi was just too interesting to watch. It seemed like a waste to Eren if he didn't spend every moment looking at him. Studying him. Contemplating how nicely his black hair fell in all the right places cornering his forehead and framing his face.

 Levi always looked so serious. The tone in his voice was impassive, like he was talking about the weather all day, he clearly didn't want to show any kind of emotions even while reading and analyzing poetry with his students. This was so different from what the class was used to: all the former literature teachers were, first of all, female; apart from one, their previous literature teacher, who wasn't even assigned to Eren's class. He got fired out of nowhere and disappeared, no one knew why. Anyway, they always put so much effort into trying to catch everyone's attention and actually wanting the students to _feel something_ , what probably the very authors wanted in the first place.

 It seemed to Eren that Levi didn't care about that. It seemed he was a math teacher that happened to know a lot about poetry and stuff, so he ended up teaching that instead of cold numbers and problems.

 Maybe Levi was hiding something from them. Maybe he didn't want to show his true personality to some ordinary students. Maybe Eren was too creative and was making it all up in his head, but the thought of not knowing a damn thing about that man was exciting and only made Eren think about him more. That Levi had him wrapped around his finger from the very first moment Eren laid his eyes on him and he ha no idea about it. He would never even know.

Eren was just one of his students, after all. One that didn't even know how to approach him, for a start.

 _Goddammit, what are you doing, falling for someone who's obviously so much older than you, and not to mention the fact that he. Is. A. Man???_ He imagined this to be Mikasa's answer if he ever confessed to her his true feelings.

  _He's just a man. A stranger that came into my life by accident. After high school is over I won't probably see him ever again, that's fine. I can survive until then._

But Eren already knew he wasn't drawn to that man only by his looks, otherwise he wouldn't have spent the first week of classes with him building a fucking castle of hypothesis about his persona and what he would be like outside the school environment. There was much more than that. For some reason he knew it and he wanted to find out every little thing about Levi. No matter what the cost would be, he didn't want to be 'only a student'. Maybe. Probably. Or he could keep all those fantasies to himself. He could survive high school and he could stop developing that stupid crush. That's what he told himself. That was the first lie he told himself.

 The struggle inside him was real and almost didn't let him sleep the night before.

Second monday since school started, second week of the semester. Eren didn't know exactly how, but he decided he wanted to talk to that fucking-too-attractive-asshole that was his lit teacher. It was a bad idea, he knew it, but something inside him kept telling him _you will never know how he truly is if you don't actually get to know him_ , and he _hated_ himself for it.

 He literally had spent his first weekend since classes started thinking about the man non stop.

He wondered if he already had a family and that thought alone made him sick to his stomach. _No way_ , he said to himself, _he's obviously an adult but not the adult-that-already-has-a-daughter type. Or a wife_. That made him feel even worse, if possible.

 And all of that was eating him up inside while he still hadn't even talked to him face to face.

So Eren walked into his class on that second monday of school with a clear and simple plan to get to speak to him: he would stay behind after the lesson to ask him privately a question about homework. It was easy. He could do that. It was allowed for a student to ask a genuine questions.

 Eren kept repeating those words to himself partly because he really needed to calm down, partly because he felt somehow guilty, like he was doing something prohibited, dirty in a way. Like if he talked to him everyone would eventually find out.

Find out that Eren Jaeger, 16 years old, had a secret crush on his new literature professor, probably around the age of 30 or something.

 “The lesson will start right after we have a little talk” Levi'd just walked in with a quite pissed off look on his face; That was new. They'd never seen him with such a harsh expression before. Something was up and it sure as hell was not good. Everyone held their breath cause they were obviously worried, Eren on the other hand was doing the same but for so many different reasons. Levi's shirt was a bit unbottoned, not showing much more really from the usual, but that plus the angry look had him so turned on he had to look away.

 “The homework due to last week... I'll cut it short. I don't wanna fool around with you guys. I'm not here to waste any time with people not interested, but since I can't ask you to leave my class cause you're supposed to attend every subject until you graduate, we'll do this instead: a test every week, I decide the day and you find out only on the very same day of the test. You don't get to complain. All you're allowed to do is study. Right, thanks for the attention. Now open your text book on page-”

Everyone looked shocked. A test every week without knowing _when._ They had to do a lot of homework for every subject and manage to study basically every day for Professor Levi. That was so far from okay.

 The chatter started raising in the classroom as everyone complained to the people sitting next to them, until the room was filled with noise and Eren couldn't hear Levi's voice anymore. He didn't care _at all_ about homework or tests. He was too busy studying Levi's face as anger grew on him. It was so interesting, at the same time hot and so fucking terrifying. Eren was wrapped around his finger.

Levi didn't shout. He didn't raise his voice or started insulting them to make the class go quiet. He simply slammed the book on his desk. Everyone shut their mouths instantly and looked at him, utter fear in their eyes. He said quietly: “Two surprise tests every week. If you don't behave I'm gonna have to add even more, for each day of the week. It's up to you.”

 

 

 

Eren sat down in his bedroom. A pile of books in front of him. Professor Levi gave them extra homework for the scene they caused in class. Everyone basically hated him already. Everyone except one student, the most stupid of them all, you might say. He didn't react like everyone else to Levi's harsh manners. He was so goddamned turned on by them.

  _Right, so I have to read these paragraphs for tomorrow, write down the answers to these questions..._

Eren was trying his best to concentrate on the amount of work he had to do, but while reading his notes all he could think of was Levi's voice while he was spelling the words Eren had carefully written down. Levi's eyes while he was challenging every single one of them to try and fucking speak again during his class. Those eyes that for a second wandered on him as well. Eren still hadn't talked to him alone, face to face, despite the fact it was all he wanted right now. He wondered if Levi even knew it was him, that first day on the train, the guy who couldn't stop staring... _No, of course he wouldn't remember. I'm nothing special while he's... He's him. Levi._

 Eren didn't know a single thing about the man except that he was a high school literature teacher, but still he was convinced Levi was special in some way. Maybe it was because of the stoic attitude, maybe because he was so difficult to approach, maybe only cause since the very first moment he laid eyes on Levi, that man was all he could think of, all day and even before falling asleep at night.

It was such a stupid crush.

 Yet he couldn't stop dreaming of that voice saying other things rather than school related stuff. He wanted to hear that voice more. Hear him say his name. Eren. He imagined Levi standing up in front of him, them alone in an empty classroom, the professor spelling his name slowly many, many times. He wanted to reach out with his hand and caress his face. He'd never dreamed about someone this way before so he didn't know how to feel about it, but it was good in a way, he felt relaxed and warm inside whenever he had those thoughts on his mind.

 He decided it was a good idea to take a break from studying for a while and laid on his bed, the train of thoughts about him and Levi still going on.

Levi and Eren alone. Levi saying his name so many times it reduced to whispers. God, how he needed to hear it for real. Eren closed his eyes and let his mind go wild in that wonderful scenario, a totally new feeling invading his chest, his hands trembling while he tried to lay still. He couldn't stop himself from seeing a quite shy version of Eren trying to still a kiss from the man's lips.

 _Shit. If I did that for real he would punch me in the face straight away._ But it was so hot to think about that impossible what if, so Eren imagined to kiss him even more, again and again, a hundred times: Levi would open his lips slowly to allow his tongue in and finally, _god_ , finally he could get a taste of him.

He was not satisfied yet, of course, cause Eren wanted to taste Levi in so many other ways. Those images had riled him up like crazy and he couldn't really ignore the aching in his crotch area; he was truly having a boner because of his new professor? Yes, totally.

Eren cursed at Levi. It was only his fault. He didn't start this. He didn't  _want_ this. It was Levi and Levi only to do this to him and he wanted to scream at him how unfair it was to just walk around school like that and for making a mess out of Eren for being so goddamn hot. Eren let a hand slip into his boxers to meet his erection that he desperately needed to take care of, at that point.  _Damn you, Levi,_ he thought once again.

 Was that okay? With Mikasa in her room, probably already sleeping or worse, still awake studying? It was pretty late though. And it didn't take long for Eren to convince himself he had all the rights to do such things, since he was a pretty horny teenager after all. Ok, maybe that was a bit of a lie.

 Eren knew too well he'd never experienced attraction towards another person in any possible way. He'd always been so far from being a normal horny teenage boy. But right now he didn't care about that. Keeping the image of them kissing in an empty classroom in his mind, he started going up and down on his erection, slowly, enjoying the moment. He was sure he'd never done it before while thinking about someone in particular. It was totally his first time.

 He imagined Levi sighing from time to time in between kisses and whispering his name, and that made him whisper too. He wanted to be touched so badly by his hands, he wanted Levi to be gentle with him and kiss him softly. But then he remembered how Levi could also be an asshole, proven by the lesson of that same day and that made his cock twitch in his hand. “Aah- ahhh, P-professor Levi...” he moaned, picturing an even better scenario: Levi being aggressive with him. Legs wrapped around Eren, the imaginary Levi was literally on top of him and in control, teaching Eren how to be a good boy for him.

 Eren thrusted his hips to meet his hand that was working at a quite fast pace now, sweat on his forehead and eyes shut, completely lost at the sight of Levi. God, he wanted to be fucked by Levi right then and there. On the classroom floor, on the desk, he didn't care. He just wanted to be punished. He needed it. He was ready to beg for it. To beg for Levi's cock to fuck him senseless, to be destroyed by him, nails scratching on his skin definitely leaving marks, his teeth sinking in his neck and leaving red love bites everywhere.

  He didn't even think he would be capable of such thoughts but apparently he was, and he was also in pure pleasure all thanks to Levi.

“Fuck” he moaned, the scene becoming blurry as his hands kept going. He wanted to imagine every detail of Professor Levi fucking him open but it was too difficult to concentrate on that while he was about to come hard in his pants. And so he did. He released moaning Levi's name. His _professor_ 's name. Eren felt so dirty for doing it but still, it felt pretty fucking good.

 He promised himself not to mention this to anyone in his whole life and after cleaning up he went to bed, forgetting he still had some other homework to do.

Once again his last thoughts before sleep were dedicated to that man. Eren knew it was lame, but he  never experienced love or romance or attraction before, and he was now kinda getting why everyone wouldn't shut their mouths about it. It was nice having a crush, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to update but now i'm done with uni for a while and i'll definitely post regularly -w-

Levi's mouth was a thin line, those shut lips that formed a beautiful yet unreadable expression were one of Eren's favourite things about his face. Eren shifted a hand from Levi's shoulders up to his white neck and tangled his fingers into Levi's dark hair. Levi closed his eyes and hissed. Then he proceeded to trail small kisses down Eren's lower abdomen and when he reached his destination Eren could feel him blow hot hair on his erection and even though he wasn't looking down at him, he could also _feel_ Levi's grin.

 Levi sticked out his tongue from those gorgeous lips and tasted just a bit of precum that was already spilling from Eren; that image alone could get Eren to come right then and there, that alone could easily get him off literally every time he wanted to touch himself and come hard at the thought of Levi.

  Levi was enjoying teasing Eren with his tongue, but soon he decided it was time to make good use of his pretty mouth: he nicely wrapped his lips around the head of Eren's cock and just while applying the right amount of pressure with his lips, he licked the slit slowly, almost like he was tracing patterns with his tongue. Eren shut his eyes at once, pleasure filling his whole body, it was so much it was almost unbearable and it made him tremble, his limbs were actually shaking and his breath got stuck in his throat—

 He opened his eyes suddenly. _What a massive loser I am._

He was staring at his white ceiling. He was laying in his bed. Eren turned around to his left and grabbed his phone: the clock read 5:36 am. He didn't need to turn on the light or get out of bed to realize what was happening under the sheets. He was having a wet dream, _yes, another one_ , and was again unbelievably hard in his pyjama bottoms.

It was the third time that week. “Fuck you, Levi” he mumbled before slipping one hand in his boxers. _I don't have time to deal with this almost every night and every morning._

Week four with Professor Levi: everyone started hating him less. The students were studying harder, the homework was getting better, not many low grades, no one was being a prick anymore during his lessons: professor Levi even reduced the tests already to just one a week. It was going pretty fine, according to everyone. Or, at least, almost everyone. Despite all the effort he was putting into studying that subject, Eren Jaeger was not good at literature. He was great at PE, of course, not so bad at math, he understood a thing or two of English... But literature was a disaster.

 He'd never been like this before though, maybe it was Levi's fault? Probably. But Levi didn't want to hear excuses and Eren started getting on Levi's nerves. Every time professor Levi walked into the classroom he would make some sort of remark about Eren's uniform being unbottoned therefore he needed a punishment, or Eren's unforgivable mistakes in his homework that would make the whole class laugh.

 “Don't mind, Eren, he will stop eventually when he finds a better victim” Armin tried to cheer him up. Mikasa never said a word during the shame-on-Eren session that basically took place at every lesson with Levi, but Eren knew how much she hated him for those cruel words.

Armin and Mikasa were pretty riled up about Levi being an asshole to Eren, while no one else seemed to care. They thought it was funny that Levi had found his first victim and that it happened to be Eren and not someone else. It was obvious they were relieved.

 Eren hated those moments when professor Levi brought all the attention to him and despised him in front of everyone, but deep down he couldn't denied that part of him... Yes, there was a tiny bit of Eren that liked it. The masochist side of Eren that liked to be laughed off by all his classmates and liked to throw away all his pride just to get Levi to look at him every day even if it meant being despised by him. Eren hated that annoyed look professor Levi gave him every single lesson but it was all he could get from him, other than that he never managed to actually talk to him face to face, and if it wasn't for that Levi wouldn't even look at him at all. It wasn't a good thing, for sure, but at least it was _something_. Maybe one day he would manage to turn that hate into something else. Anyway, it was better to have that than have nothing at all.

 

 

 “Levi.”

“Mmmh?”

“Why are you keeping me on the phone if you don't want to talk?”

“You're the one who called.”

“Ah, you're right.”

Levi was trying to open his apartment door but the keys fell off his hand as he was also trying to speak on the phone with his superior.

“What do you want, Erwin. You called me ten minutes ago and just kept ranting about stuff and I'm still here waiting to find out the purpose of this conversation” Levi said, picking up the keys from the floor, “and unless you convince me otherwise, I don't think there is one actually.”

Levi unlocked the door and entered his house. He'd moved since what, four weeks now? That apartment was already filled with all his forniture and personal things, but it still felt like it wasn't his true house yet. It felt cold.

“How's life?”

“You're telling me you called me just to ask that? Erwin. We've seen each other every day since I moved here.”

“Yeah but I haven't seen you today and I wanted to check” Levi could feel him taking a deep breath on the other side of the line.

“I'm done with moving. The flat is officially clean and...” Levi hesitated. It wasn't comfortable. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't even livable. It was just a rooftop over his head. “Classes are going fine.”

“Good.” Erwin briefly cut the conversation, not wanting to go into details of the new house. He probably already understood what Levi didn't even say.

“About that thing I mentioned you the other day, anyway...” _Ah, that 's it_ , Levi thought. _The reason of the call._

“I know you know better than me how to handle certain situations, I know you'd never get in trouble like that, I wanted to end that discussion here so we're done with it and don't need to readdress it in the future.”

“Sure.” Levi sat on his not-so-comfortable couch and stared at the wall in front of him. He knew where that conversation was going.

“Remember why you're here. The previous literature professor had an affair with a young student and we had to fire him to prevent something like that from happening ever again. As I told you, I know this would never happen to you, that's why I suggested you took his place as new professor in our school and actually got you to move here. I know you're not interested in female students as much as the male ones. I know you’re not into romance and relationships, so I trust you and your self control. I know you'd never do something so shameful as take advantage of someone so younger than you. This can't happen again in our walls, Levi. I know you understand.”

“It won't happen, and I certainly do.”

“Good. I'll see you tomorrow, Levi.”

Levi didn't even answer and let Erwin hang up. He listened to the beeping sounds of that ended call, Erwin's voice still echoing in his head. Levi stood up and placed his phone on the empty coffee table in front of him, then moved to the kitchen. He had to eat something for dinner but his stomach was twisting. He hadn't been this nervous in a long time. It wasn't about the call, it wasn't about the new job, the new environment or the conduct of his new students. He felt threatened by something.

Levi only managed to make himself a cup of tea and then went straight to bed, not really looking forward to the next day of classes. The sheets were cold, the whole bedroom felt cold even though he turned the heating on. Something was growing on him and he had no idea yet. All he could perceive was the same feeling that lulled him to sleep every night: loneliness.

 

 

“The dark circles under your eyes are getting worse, Eren” Mikasa stated as they had breakfast together on a Monday morning.

Week six since the beginning of classes. Eren just nodded while shoving cereal down his throat. Mikasa was almost ready to leave while of course Eren was still having breakfast in his pyjamas. He'd always been late in the morning, but now he was even more since he needed time before getting out of bed to solve some _problems_. And also, he fell asleep pretty late every night because of all the fantasies about a certain person keeping him awake. It was getting worse and worse, Eren didn't know what to do. The options in his head were clear: he could 1) confront such professor and confess his... What was it that Eren felt towards Levi? A stupid crush? Something more? Just inexplicable sexual attraction? -although to Eren it was very explicable, he just needed to look at Levi once to understand why he was feeling that way-. Or 2) forget about professor Levi and keep that secret to himself until it was buried with him and no one could ever find out about all the goddamned fantasies Eren had about that man. He'd developed so many he could write his own book of sins. Maybe writing his own masterpiece would be the only way to pass that damn class.

_Or I could suck him off and that would help._ Eren mentally slapped himself in the face for thinking such things. Had he become so lewd already?

“I'm leaving in five. Do you think you can make it or do I have to get going by myself again?”

Eren flew into his bedroom and managed to get ready in less that five minutes. He needed to walk to school with Mikasa and get the first train or he would end up stuck on an empty wagon with professor Levi and he didn't have the strength to deal with that first thing in the morning.

 Once arrived in class, Eren felt himself relax a little: he had time before the literature lesson, he could revise and check his homework and mentally prepare to the shaming session of the day. He thought he could have at least ten minutes of peace and quiet but Levi walked into the classroom. Earlier.

Everyone froze, the noises and chatter disappeared instantly.

“There's something I need to do before the lesson. Jaeger, could you come with me for a second?”

Eren's heart stopped in his chest. He felt all the blood in his system rush to his cheeks, suddenly very red, so that his hands got instantly cold and started sweating and he was almost _shaking_. He couldn't feel his fingers. Eren somehow managed to nod and left his desk, not being able to even look at Levi that was standing right in front of the door. Levi turned around and left the class while Eren followed, eyes glued to the back of that man, trying so hard to steady his breath and pretend he was okay when he was so far from it. They walked for a bit into an empty corridor and then Levi stopped in front of a door, what Eren thought it was his office, apparently. _Shit. I'm going into his office. What do I do. What did I do to deserve this?_

Levi entered and sat down, pulling out a bunch of papers from under his desk and placing them in front of Eren. Then he extracted what seemed to be Eren's homework due to the week before. The paper looked incredibly awful, a bunch of red marks everywhere signaling all the grammatical errors and then a blue colour for the times when he got off-track in that essay.

“Jaeger...”

_Oh God._ Eren swallowed. Levi saying his name was _too much_ , even if he wasn't even spelling his first name.

“At first I thought you were only a brat” Levi stated “but you're much more than that.”

Eren clenched his fists. Levi sighed. “You're an ignorant brat. The worst kind.”

Levi was back at it, insulting him again, but even so Eren felt a rush of adrenaline in his body, like he could just drop everything and run a marathon or something.

“I wanted to give you a chance. You're not getting better, I don't even know if you're putting any effort at all in my homework, but I thought since you had such a brilliant sister maybe you could evolve into something... Else.”

Levi was only scolding him, yet Eren was fascinated by every word he said, the tone of his voice, those eyes staring at him, his legs crossed under the desk.

“I'm going to drop the insult thing I started a while back, I thought it would motivate you to do better but apparently I was wrong.”

_You weren't_ , Eren wanted to reply, but he knew he couldn't say something like _You motivated me well in so many other ways._ He didn't even think he had the guts to say it out loud.

“So what I'm going to do is ask you to do extra work for me, maybe study with Mrs. Ackerman at home and then you come to my office after classes and I correct your extra homework.”

“Yes, professor Levi.”

_Wait. What???_

Levi had just asked him to stop by his office every now and then for some extra work, the two of them alone. Ah, yes, also study at home with Mikasa, but he wasn't going to do it even if God himself had asked him to.

“Go back to class you damn brat.”

“I'm sorry for troubling you with extra work, professor.”

Eren spit out those words in a rush, he wasn't even thinking when he said it, he was only trying desperately to hold onto something so that he wouldn't have to leave his office already. _How miserable._

“It's not a problem, Jaeger. It's my job. I get paid to do so.”

Eren nodded. He felt stupid. He felt stupid and ignorant and a total brat.

Eren realized he was staring at his feet with a flushed face and that he maybe needed to leave the room now. So he did, without adding a word, and Levi watched him leave and waited for a good ten minutes before returning into the classroom.

 

So Levi didn't hate him, after all. Levi hated that he was totally useless in his class. He hated that Eren was doing okay in every subject but not his. He hated the thought that Eren wasn't putting enough effort in the homework he had to correct. Those were all signs that Levi cared.

_Of course he cares, he's a professor and it's his job_ , Eren said to himself, still not able to shake away the thought of Levi actually maybe caring a tiny bit about him, ignorant brat Eren Jaeger.

But it was sure that to Levi, Eren was nothing more than a student who needed some extra help. Nothing more. Yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry i haven't updated this in literally ages ... i have no excuses for that. i take the blame.  
> i didnt even like this anymore tbh so i thought maybe i should just drop it ....... but then again some parts are already written so why not post at least another chapter and you let me know if you want more?

Levi had no family. Levi had just moved in a new apartment, in a new city, adjusting to his new job of literature teacher. Sure, he'd taught before, he wasn't inexperienced, but he was literally forced to quit his previous job and move to a different school because of inevitable reasons and the choices of more important and powerful people above him. Someone else had took Levi's life and destiny in their hands and chose to do something with it, whatever they wanted with it, not caring about a single thought in Levi's mind, not caring if he had planned a future already. Which he didn't, by the way. But the idea of someone making a choice that changed his life for him was the thing that upset him the most. He was angry. He wanted to be more than that though, he wanted to be furious and never go back to that new classroom of his ever again, he wanted to quit the job already. Because the person that took his nonexistent future away was one he actually trusted, in a way, even though he would never admit it.

Erwin Smith had been one of the few constant figures in his life. Levi didn't have many friends, he had a few acquaintances, he knew some people. But none of them were actually able to say they knew the real Levi. No one knew that person. Hell, not even he himself.

Levi didn't have a family, not anymore. He didn't think he'd have a future, to be honest, he knew that. But he was more than happy with making his own choices about it. But then one day, all of a sudden, Erwin put his hands on that future and made it his.

“You're going to have to move” he had said. “I have a better job for you in another town, actually not that far, you're going to replace some asshole teacher and I'll take care of everything you need, first thing is the new apartment you're staying in.” It all seemed so simple. It all went according to Erwin's plan. Levi said goodbye to his old house and brought his ass to this new place. Not that he could call home that previous place he was staying, but he knew the new one would be no different.

And he was mad he had no say in all of this. He was mad he had nothing to lose in the first place to deny that request. That order, actually. An order from Erwin, who called himself a friend, when all he had been was only a superior to him. Someone who put him in that previous town in the first place, and that was the reason why part of Levi actually trusted him -or used to-, and someone who took away that life he knew the moment he needed him somewhere else.

Erwin wasn't just another professor. He was a very powerful man. He was the new director of the school Levi had just started working in, and he'd always been in charge of something since the very first day Levi met him. He was bound to be a leader. He made the right choices for everyone and every situation. And he thought he did that as well for Levi. But Erwin was so wrong, Levi was sure of that. The only thing he was confident he knew about Erwin Smith was that this man knew nothing about him. He didn't understand him, though Erwin tried to and thought he did. Levi knew he would never understand him. It was just an act. Erwin was playing with him, somehow he'd always done it. Even now: positioning him in that classroom, with those students, asking him not to do something stupid, how reckless could he be? Levi wanted to say he was a strong man, but he knew too well that was a damn lie. At that point in his life, Levi was a broken man. Erwin didn't care about that, he didn't consider it- or maybe he did?- and he put him in a new environment and gave him the horrible opportunity of a new start, when it was all Levi didn't want. Levi didn't ask for a new start. He didn't need it. He was fed up with those stupid things. Levi was alone and broken since the day he lost his family and despite all of the attempts of everyone surrounding him, he didn't want to get better. He didn't want to start over. He wanted things to stay the same until the day he died. Alone, like he was planning to.

 

 

 

“You can sit down, Jaeger” Levi told him, his voice so sharp it sounded like an order instead of an offer. Eren swallowed. He hadn't been in professor Levi's office since that day he had called him there to talk to him in private. About those extra lessons. That would be their first one.

Eren sat down, the professor desk empty in front of him and Levi standing on the other side, eyeing him and every move the student made. Eren was so nervous he knew he would start shaking at any moment, but he wanted to keep his cool. It was nothing more than an extra lesson after all, he'd done class duties before and he'd been alone with other teachers plenty of times. Why would that be any different? It wasn't like Levi was interested in him anyway. He would never be, actually.

The thought made his stomach twist but he swallowed again and held up his stare to watch him, careful not to let any emotion slip out of his too wide and readable eyes. He saw Levi stare back at him for a second and wondered if he knew. If he knew Eren couldn't ever stop thinking about him.

 _Of course he doesn't know_ , Eren shut those thoughts out of his mind and looked away.

“Is something up, kid?”

_What did he call me?_

“N-no” Eren's voice caught in his throat but he managed to spell his shy reply. “I'm just, uh... Worried, that's all.”

Levi was trying to read him again, carefully. Then he sat down in front of him and Eren could feel the tension of that moment dissolve already. Levi's eyes weren't as serious anymore. He looked calm, even if for just a second Eren could tell Levi wasn't going to be harsh with him. Not in those secret private lessons.

“Don't be.” Levi's voice was slow and convincing. “Don't be worried, I'm not going to judge you or take in consideration the extra homework. This is not going to be a way to punish you or give you more tests and therefore more bad grades. This is me” he spelled in a deep voice, never looking away from Eren, “helping you.”

The eye contact was so intense Eren felt himself blush. He couldn't stop how that man made him feel, and having talk to him so close -even with a desk still between them- and being able to be alone with him was sending Eren over the moon. His words were so persuasive, his tone was calming, he looked like he truly wanted to be in there alone with Eren and help him. Not because it was a student, but because it was Eren. Deep down Eren knew that wasn't true, it was just him imagining things, but for some reason he wanted to hold onto that possibility because it was all he had.

“Thank you” Eren replied, his voice steady and for the first time while talking to him, not scared of fucking up.

“Now give me the paper I assigned you yesterday and let's see how you did your text analysis” Levi's voice was back to normal, but now Eren was confident he could do this. He could spend time alone with him and not be too awkward, not say stupid things and not seem to be more of an ignorant brat that he actually was.

Levi stared at the pages for quite a while, reading through the lines Eren had written the night before, not giving any sign of emotions. Eren couldn't tell if his analysis was the worst thing ever written in all human history or the best essay a high school student ever wrote.

But he thanked all the gods and saints because in those minutes he could stare at Levi and study his features just like he'd done that time on the train, when he first met him. Eren carefully laid his eyes on that thin mouth of his, wandered for a while on his neck, wanting to touch him, aching to caress his skin and feel just how warm he was. Levi's white shirt this time was all bottoned up and maybe that was a good thing, because if it wasn't Eren wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself. Part of him knew he could never make a move on an older man, a professor of his by the way, but another part of him wanted to be brave and actually do something to surprise him. Eren imagined himself standing up right then and there, interrupting Levi's reading and bending down over his desk to grab his white shirt in his hands and just lean in to press their lips together. How he wanted to do it. How badly he wanted to get a taste of him. A taste of the only person he'd never have.

“Not too bad” Levi's voice was the thing that brought him back to reality. Eren blushed while trying to push away those images from his mind, even though Levi couldn't see them. He was so embarrassed.

“This isn't like the analysis I asked you to do in the past weeks... There is progress here, Jaeger. Something I wasn't expecting from you, not so soon anyway.”

Eren's mouth was hanging open. It was the first time his professor had complimented him, or sort of.

“There's plenty of bullshit written here, by the way” and at the curse Eren's eyes widened.

“What? You don't expect me to say 'bullshit' and shit like that? I'm not in the classroom, kid. I'm still in the school but hell, I'm not that professional anyway. Not all the time.”

That caught Eren off guard. That was the first little piece of information he had about the man.

And now he was craving for more.

“Back to your little work of art here... You didn't get the point of the author in multiple paragraphs but the general layout of your speech isn't that bad. It's a good starting point, I'd say.”

Eren couldn't help but smile a little. He wasn't that bad, then. He wasn't too ignorant for him. He could do something to prove him he was worth -for whatever reason, he wanted to prove it to him. He wanted it more than anything.

“Get that ugly ass grin off of your face, brat. We're not done with these lessons just after one almost good attempt at an essay.”

 _Thank god_ , Eren thought.

“Thank you so much, professor Levi.”

Those words rolled on his tongue like a magic spell. Levi stared at him, surprised. He didn't know why, but the satisfaction in Eren's voice and that grin made him feel something. Hell, he didn't even know what, but something was there. A student had never reacted to him that way before.

Eren seemed pleased to have pleased him. That brat seemed to have found a purpose to work hard over that subject, and that purpose was pleasing him, an insignificant professor like any other. _Why_ , Levi asked himself. But he was good at reading people so he knew that he wasn't wrong about Eren Jaeger. It was weird to think that someone actually wanted to impress him. It seemed like Eren wasn't willing to do this out of fear, like anyone else had always done. Levi got the feeling that the brat might be different from anyone else, for whatever stupid reason he still didn't know.

Levi gave him instructions on the next essay he had to write and told him to take all the time he needed for that one, cause it wasn't going to be as easy as the first one. Plus, Eren had to deal with the homework of every other subject, literature and everything else.

It was going to be tough for Eren, he knew it. But if that hard work meant giving him the chance to spend some time alone with professor Levi, he sure as hell wanted to keep doing it. He would give it all he'd got.

 

After a week of lessons with that kind of hopeless student, Levi found himself looking forward to their private moments. For some reason he liked studying him, trying to read him, getting to know little details of his personality and trying to put every piece together to create a decent writer. After all, Eren Jaeger wasn’t so hopeless as Levi initially thought. 

Levi wondered if it was okay to continue the private lessons without telling Erwin about it. He was enjoying himself, sure, and there was nothing wrong about some extra homework that would only benefit Jaeger’s scholar career, so there would be no problem in explaining what he was doing to Principal Smith. But at the same time he didn’t want to expose those private sessions. As if there was something special about them Levi didn’t know yet, but he wanted to prevent anyone from finding that out. It was his little secret.

He loved the fact that Jaeger was devoted to improve just to impress him, out of all the teachers of the council, he was glad he found a student that seemed to care even if he literally sucked. He wasn’t going to let Erwin Smith know that Levi was enjoying his job, for maybe the first time in his life, thanks to a new naïve student. He was afraid Erwin would take that away from him too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update, it's been forever-- i'm sorry.  
> i haven't posted anything about haikyuu either. It's been a tough month

A whole week had passed since Eren started going to Levi’s office in secret. No one knew about the extra lessons yet, and Eren wasn’t even sure he wanted to tell anybody about it. It would have seemed to weird, he knew it, but keeping it secret from his best friend only meant there was actually something to hide about those lessons, when in reality nothing had happened at all. Not that Eren didn’t want anything to happen, he just didn’t know how to make a move.

But then, the idea of his step sister Mikasa finding out on her own was scary, so he had to talk to her eventually. Only after Armin, though, for sure.

Eren tried to approach the conversation while they were playing videogames together on Armin’s bed, on a quiet Monday afternoon. They had a lot of homework to do, of course, but maybe taking a little break after a while wasn’t a bad idea, so they interrupted that studying session and Eren found the courage to bring the Levi subject up.

“Armin I have something to tell you” he stated, trying to seem calm but failing miserably.

“Oh god, Eren, are you in trouble again?” Armin replied, not looking away from the screen. The conversation seemed to have worried him but Mario Kart was still too important to let go immediately.

“I didn’t do anything” Eren whined “…yet.”

Armin let the controller fall on the bed and looked at him, eyes wide with worry.

“It’s something stupid, okay, I didn’t murder anyone and I’m not selling pot, I promise” Eren tried to smile but his stomach was twisting in the most horrible way thanks to all the butterflies and nervousness. He was going to admit he had a crush on a man so much older than him. And he was going to admit, for the first time in his life, that maybe he wasn’t so hetero after all.

“Spit it out, I won’t judge.” Armin’s words were reassuring but his eyes were still locked to Eren’s with a terrifying glare of worry and fear.

“I, uh… I have a crush. It’s not like I have it on a girl in our class, it’s something that’ll never end up in anything really, but I had to tell you eventually…”

Armin let him talk without interrupting him, somehow he knew how hard it was for Eren to admit his feeling so he gave him all the time he needed.

“I have a crush and it’s the most stupid thing that’s ever happened to me cause he’ll never want me back.” Now he’d said it and there was no way of taking it back.

“He? Could you be more specific?” Armin didn’t seem shocked or horrified, he was interested. Like genuinely interested in what Eren was saying.

“You’re not disgusted by me?”

“For what? You just told me you have a crush and it’s on a guy, I see nothing to be disgusted about.”

Eren took a deep breath. If Armin accepted this, though, there was no way of him approving the next thing he had to say.

“It’s… Levi.”

“Levi as in Professor Levi?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

Armin was quiet for a minute or two. He seemed to have a lot to say, but he was probably trying to figure out how to word his reply properly, maybe because he wanted to destroy Eren with ten thousand reasons why it was a bad and horrible thing to have a crush on an older man like Levi.

But instead, he just sighed eventually.

“I see. I should have seen this coming.” It was the only thing Armin said. This time he smiled again and it actually felt reassuring.

“You’re not mad?”

“God, stop! Eren, why do you want me to be the bad friend? I’m not disgusted and I’m not mad. I see how you look at him in class, I see how he looks at you. There’s a connection there and I was just too stupid not to notice before you told me.”

“What?” Eren couldn’t believe anything that left Armin’s mouth. It was obvious Eren was always staring at professor Levi, sure, but what made Armin notice that there was something going on between them? And first of all, was there something going on at all?

“I hope no one else noticed by now, but yeah it’s pretty obvious you’re interested in him.”

“Okay, right” Eren tried to calm down, “why do you think there’s a, what did you say? Connection?”

“I don’t know, I just feel like there’s something I’m missing, but when you’re not looking he’s always checking if you’re taking notes and stuff like that. He doesn’t do it with anyone else. I know cause I keep an eye on him, since I’m sitting next to Jean who is always texting while he should be paying attention.”

Eren felt his heart thrash in his throat. He had no idea Levi was observing him during classes. Maybe it was all due to the fact they had those private lessons, but he couldn’t stop his imagination from flying to other reasons why.

Reality hit him like a ton of bricks and pulled his feet back on the ground.

“He’s checking on me cause I’m taking private lessons from him. That’s why he’s looking at what I do.”

“Private lessons?”

Eren explained what he’d been doing in Levi’s office for the past week and why he had to stay up late every now and then to finish his extra homework. Armin listened carefully and Eren could tell there was a lot going on in his mind, but again he didn’t interrupt him.

“I don’t think you should give up just yet, I don’t know Eren but he seems interested.”

_Don’t give me false hope. It’s going to ruin me._

“He would never… Have you seen me…?”

“Unless you do something, you’ll never know. Besides, he doesn’t even seem that old, right?”

Armin was being too genuinely supportive, maybe something was up and he wasn’t telling him, but Eren didn’t have the guts to ask. Having that conversation with him had been exhausting and they still had a lot of homework to go through for the evening, so he just dropped the subject. Of course, after begging him not to tell Mikasa any time soon.

 

 

“You must not tell Mikasa” Armin hissed, on the phone.

Jean, on the other end of the line, was about to burst out laughing. They had been on the phone for almost an hour now, and Armin gave in, always trusting every friend of his, to keep his secrets the way he didn’t keep them. Armin had confessed to Jean everything Eren had told him on that very same day.

“I can’t believe this, how did you even tell him you should’ve seen it? There was no way of finding it out without him confessing, honestly. It wasn’t so obvious. Besides, I never thought Eren was gay.”

“Same here” Armin sighed. He decided to talk to Jean for two reasons, and now he was also kind of regretting it: first of all, he wanted to see how Jean would react if he knew a classmate was gay. Secondly, he wanted to see if Jean approved of Levi, as in if he found him attractive. But now Jean was laughing his ass off of Eren’s secret feelings and that wasn’t okay.

“Do you think Levi will… you know, eventually make a move on Eren?”

Jean took a few seconds to think about his answer. “To be honest, no. I don’t think he would ever risk his career to go with a high school student, don’t you think? Why did you tell Eren not to lose hope?”

“I think the same” Armin admitted, “but Eren looked so into him, his eyes were wider than usual and he was struggling to find the words to tell me how much he’s thought about him and if he has a family and stuff—I didn’t want to break his bubble so soon. I told what he wanted to hear from a friend.”

Jean shrugged. “Being honest is the best way to be a good friend, you know.”

Jean was right. Armin couldn’t believe he’d done such an awful thing to his best friend, but confronted with the situation he wasn’t really able to think straight and give the best advice.

But still, he didn’t want the conversation to end, he still needed to know if…

“Do you find Levi attractive?” Armin finally spit out.

“Uhm, not really, why? Do you? Please don’t tell me you—“

“No! I don’t, never mind, it was stupid to ask— Thanks for helping out, though. I really needed to talk to someone about this. I’ll tell Eren my honest opinion tomorrow.”

“Right, see you tomorrow.”

Jean hung up, and Armin was left with a burden of feeling in his stomach, making him a bit sick. By the way Jean had reacted to his last question, he couldn’t really tell if the disgust in Jean’s voice was towards just Levi or men in general. His attempt of finding out if Jean was also into guys had failed miserably. And then Armin tried to fall asleep, with many thoughts in his head: about Eren and his, let’s be honest, impossible relationship with Levi and about Jean, and he had to be honest with that as well, impossible relationship with him.

 

 

Levi was scrolling through the papers, coffee in one hand, sitting comfortably on his couch in his cold as hell small flat. The snow was falling slowly on the ground out of his window. He’d been working at that new school for a while now, even though it always seemed like week one to him. He never introduced himself properly to the council of professors, he never talked to many of them during breaks. The only one he sometimes talked to was, of course, the principal Erwin Smith.

He wanted to get to know a few of those interesting individuals, though, cause not everyone seemed like the usual depressed teacher with no ambition in life than to work in a high school forever: the science teacher, for example. Her name was Hanji, she seemed cool. But Levi wasn’t used to approaching people and ‘making friends’, so he was yet to talk to her.

Levi wondered if he would ever be able to call that new town his home. Somehow that lead his train of thoughts to the new students he had, and a clear face appeared in his mind.

He shifted his hand above the pile of essays and selected the one he was the most interested in reading now, signed Eren Jaeger right at the beginning.

Levi still didn’t know what he saw in that kid in the first place. But paying attention to him at least was managing to keep him awake during some awful lessons, because some days that class was literally bringing up the worst in him. Anyway, Eren was always listening, Eren was always carefully taking notes and he even began to ask questions, something that everyone else was too scared to do. Eren was raising his head to stare at him in the eyes, while everyone was hiding at the back of the classroom.

 _Stupid, stupid Erwin Smith_ , Levi cursed under his breath.

Choosing him to replace a bad teacher that misbehaved with a student wasn’t a good idea. Erwin didn’t know yet, of course, and Levi didn’t want him to know, not yet, not ever.

Levi would easily become the next thing that school needed to hide in shame. Levi would be another regret of someone else’s life. He couldn’t avoid it this time.

He could already see the shame towering over that school of the well known principal Smith after everyone found out of one of those disgusting teachers.

Levi knew someone would find out eventually, and he had no place to hide.

Levi knew he couldn’t tell Erwin that he was a danger for the school reputation. He shouldn’t have taken the job in the first place, what was he thinking? Someone would expose him and it would be all over, for Levi, for the school, for Erwin.

Who wants to let their son go to a school where a gay teacher hides away in his office for ‘private lessons’ –cause he knew no one would believe that those were true- with an underage student he had impure thoughts about?

Levi shook his head, visibly. It happened once.

When he was alone in his office with Eren Jaeger he’d found himself fantasizing about how soft his hair would’ve felt under his touch, and if he was allowed to reach out just a little to try. It wasn’t his fault for being attracted to men, it was Eren who was so damn _pretty_ and Levi also blamed the fact that he’d been alone for far too long.

_I haven’t been with a man for so long I started imagining myself with underage students, great._

That was bad. That was so bad Levi thought the best thing to do was resign the morning after before something would give Erwin the opportunity of firing Levi himself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm up to date with the manga so i physically needed to add a bit of jean/armin hope u dont mind  
> also i'm not gonna make you wait for months before the next update i promise

The familiar bell sound echoed in his room, in the middle of the night. On his phone screen the notification that popped up read: ‘Armin Arlert has sent you a message’. Jean opened it with no hesitation, not even asking himself what was his friend doing awake in the middle of the night, just like him. It wasn’t of Armin to stay up late, but Jean didn’t let himself indulge on this thought and just read his text straight forward.

 

_-Hey Jean, what are you doing online in the chat, it’s 1:30am and we have a test tomorrow morning? Don’t tell me you’re revising cause you know I wouldn’t believe you_

Jean yawned and tapped his reply on the dirty keyboard of his laptop.

_-I could ask the same about you, Arlert_

 

Within seconds the facebook chat popped open on his laptop again and Jean’s phone screen lightened up. He hated receiving notifications twice, both on computer and his phone but he couldn’t rebel against technology, so he just turned off his phone and read Armin’s message on the laptop bright screen.

 

_-You know I’m revising, silly_

Jean chuckled.

 

 _What is tomorrow’s test about, anyway?_ Jean typed, confident Armin would help him copy a little in the morning so that he wouldn’t fail miserably.

_-Oh god you’re such a disaster_

That was Armin’s reply, which left Jean laughing for a while before beginning to be concerned about his friend actually _not_ letting him copy the morning after. But before Jean could ask, he noticed on the screen that Armin was typing again.

_-No but seriously, you should go to bed soon_

_-you too_ –Jean typed while his friend was still writing something else-

_-What are you really doing up all night, every night?_

Jean sighed. Maybe it was okay for him to tell someone, eventually, about his little secret. Armin was a trustworthy friend, so he didn’t mind telling Armin, if anything.

 

_-Promise not to laugh, thank you very much_

_-I’ve got an online friend_

Armin stopped breathing for a second and stared at his phone screen. Without realizing, he was holding the pillow between his arms so tight that he was shaking, and his arms hurt. An online friend. Online. _Friend_.

 _-I see,_ Armin replied, simply. He was surprised. He was expecting anything from Jean, like watching porn when his family was asleep so that no one would hear him make weird noises in his room. Playing videogames until 4am like Eren used to. But no, it wasn’t like that. This was unexpected. This could become something else. A problem.

_-Armin? you still there?_

_-Yeah_

‘This is bad’ he wanted to say, but he knew it wasn’t, in fact it was a normal thing for teenagers, adventuring online and meeting internet people with the same interests, bonding with guys or girls from all over the world. He just never thought that was something even Jean could do. And then it occurred him: was it a guy friend or a _girl_ friend?

_-Is she pretty?_

‘is typing’ appeared next to Jean’s name for about two minutes. Apparently he kept writing and deleting words for a while, not knowing how to respond. That was it, Armin thought, Jean was going to quietly tell him he had a girlfriend, he’d had a girlfriend for a while and even though she lives far away he’s happy with her nonetheless.

 

Finally his words popped up and Armin had to breathe in and out a few times before finding the courage to go ahead and read everything.

 

_-It’s not like that_

_-I don’t think im ready for something like a relationship anyway_

_-and he is a guy_

As simple as that. Not a girlfriend. He sighed, in relief. Not a relationship. Jean didn’t want that kind of things, not yet. Another sigh. That was okay, Armin could deal with that. He said goodnight soon after and turned his phone off for a while.

 

 

The school was quiet, he liked it better that way. No students around, everyone is locked up in their classrooms too busy worrying over mathematic problems that probably won’t be so useful during their lives, the only time when he could wander around without the pressure of being followed or even seen by others. He could relax for a couple of moments and that was bliss. Keeping up the mask of harsh professor wasn’t for him, or at least, not always. He wasn’t like that. Not all the time. He was, just like everybody else, human.

“Hey! You, over there!” someone shouted from the bottom of the corridor. _Oh no…._ Levi thought. There was no escape, and that voice was kind of familiar to him. He heard her once or twice since he started working there, but they never really talked. Until that moment. He even thought she was kind of cool, in her own way, until she stopped ignoring him.

“Hello you nice piece of meat!” she almost shouted in his face.

“Excuse me?” Levi said with a quite disgusted look and cocking an eyebrow.

“Sorry, they say I’ve got a bad mouth and I’m too vulgar sometimes. But that’s okay with you, right? I heard you’re quite graphic yourself.”

“I have no idea what you mean by that, please excuse me” Levi quickly responded, beginning to walk away from her, headed to his next class.

“You’re professor Levi, you silly, I heard what they say about you! Looks like you’re the only one who doesn’t know!”

She kept talking to the point that Levi couldn’t ignore her anymore, as she was also walking now,  thinking it was a good idea to follow him.

“What exactly do they say about me and who are these people” Levi shot his reply quickly so that he would be soon done with her.

“Oh, you know, other teachers and so on” she smiled. She seemed genuinely happy to have him asking questions and keeping the conversation going. That was weird.

“You’re so stoic but deep down you’re a bad mouth like me, they said to catch you in the corridors so I could get a taste of your ‘other personality’ and stuff like that. I was curious. Nice to meet you, I’m the science teacher Hanji Zoe!”

The only thing Levi did was relax his shoulders. She wasn’t so bad after all.

“You seem to know a lot about me, so I don’t really need to introduce myself, do I” he just said.

She laughed. He knew he could trust her. It was like breathing fresh air after a long time drowning in deep, cold waters.

“Nice to meet you, Hanji”.

“I know that maybe it isn’t your thing but this weekend me and other colleagues wanted to hang out, maybe you could tag along? We don’t normally do this kind of things but old Pixis is going to retire soon and we wanted to give him a goodbye present or something, it’s going to be fun! You in?”

The bell rang when Hanji finished speaking. He had no time to think about what to say, he wasn’t even sure he got all the information about this party she was talking about, since she was just so excited about it her voice pitch was becoming higher and higher. It was like time stopped as the bell was ringing. The doors to the classrooms opened at once and students started flowing in the corridors: all the peace and quiet he loved so much was gone. He felt panicky for a second, but then he was able to see it and took in a sharp breath.

Eren.

Eren was standing in the middle of the corridor, looking at him. No, he wasn’t just looking. His green eyes were piercing right through Levi.

“You know, I could use some alcohol right now.”

“But Levi, the party is Saturday night!” Hanji laughed.

“Whatever” he said, and looked away.

Before Eren could even realize, Levi was out of his sight.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has accepted Hanji's invitation, so here they are drinking all together at a pub. Alcohol leads them to personal conversations (you know the drill)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a chapter a month, how does that sound...?  
> This is all Levi-centred. I hope you like it!!

“Oh my god Erwin look! Look at the door!”  
“He looks like a frightened deer”  
Everyone at the table laughed at Erwin’s statement while eyeing the door of the club closing behind his back.  
“How did you even convince him to come, Hanji?” someone asked, surprised.  
“Well it wasn’t that hard” she said, fiercely, watching Levi walk towards their spot, “I just said we were going to celebrate and he said yes. Maybe he doesn’t stand most people working at that school but he doesn’t hate me, after all.”  
That was true. Levi didn’t hate his colleagues, but he didn’t like them either. He could listen to Hanji talking to him from time to time, though, that was acceptable. To be honest, Levi was never in the mood to hang out or celebrate something. He only needed to space out for a bit, and for that he needed alcohol.

“Well, hello there!” Hanji shouted at him when he was standing next to everyone. “Have a seat” Erwin kindly invited him.  
“Everyone, I know you’ve seen him around school for a while but I also know he hasn’t introduced himself to any of you yet, so here we are: Levi, these are the other teachers!”  
There was a list of names and subjects right after Hanji’s introduction and Levi, already bored, knew he wouldn’t remember any of it ten minutes after.  
Erwin ordered drinks for everyone and assumed Levi wouldn’t drink something soft, so he got for the two of them just whisky.

His head was starting to get dizzy. How did that happen? Oh right, the club, Pixis or whoever was gonna get fired soon—ah no, retire, not getting fired. No one is getting fired from that school. Or if anyone, the only person who should be fired from there was the one who has thoughts about fucking an underage student—  
Levi suddenly stood up from his seat and almost spilled his fourth cocktail. After that whisky Erwin had offered him, Hanji had been the one taking care of the drinking part for everyone invited and of course she got Levi some random shit that he didn’t even like. Something like vodka lemon, then another one strawberry flavoured- which almost made him throw up.

“Everything alright, darling?” Hanji asked, sounding a bit worried.  
“First of all- Levi struggled to reply- do not call me nicknames or anything like that. I’m Levi—just-“  
“Honey I know that” she said, “but you look so adorable when you’re tipsy—or maybe you’re actually drunk and this is even cuter oh my god”  
Hanji stood up and grabbed Levi by the wrist, taking him outside the club for a second to breathe some fresh air and cool down the riled up drunk professor.  
“I bet you feel already a bit better now, Levi”.

They looked at the stars for a moment. Then he heard the door open next to them and someone came out, crashing Levi’s stream of thought that was bringing him back to his dirty mind and what he was worried was going to be the end of his teaching career in that school. After all, he seriously wanted to fu—

“Hey Levi, you okay? I saw you going out with Hanji and I was worried” it was Erwin’s voice. Brought back to reality once again by circumstances. For a second he wished his thoughts weren’t interrupted. That moment he knew there was no hope for him. He wanted to indulge in those deep secret thoughts, he wanted to keep imagining of ravishing that innocent boy with his lewd, perverted worst side, he wanted to make a mess out of him and hell, he’d only spent a few days of secret tutoring with him. No wonder it was going to get worse with time.

“I’m okay” he lied.  
Hanji reassured Erwin everything was going to be fine and she would bring back Levi home. Levi could feel Erwin relax next to him, but still he was concerned. At some point his superior was going to find out about all of that. About his desire to have Eren. He was going to fuck up everything. It was just a matter of time.

“Well, I need to go now. My fiancée is waiting for me at home, I told her to go to bed but apparently she won’t until I’m under the bed sheets with her—oh god, not in that sense” he chuckled.  
Hanji stared at him with wide eyes. “So you do have a girlfriend! You never told us!”  
“I didn’t want the rumor to spread around school, you know. Actually we’re getting married soon.”  
Hanji was ecstatic at the news and wouldn’t stop congratulating him for about ten minutes, not letting him go home before hugs and kisses and ‘how is she like’ ‘where did you meet her’ and such. Levi forced a smile instead, all he could think of was that he was never going to experience a relationship like that. Eren’s face popped up in his mind once again and he had to physically shake his head to scroll the thought away.

When he finally left, there was a moment of silent between the two of them that remained outside the club. Everyone was still in there probably drinking and partying like nothing ever happened. Hanji and Levi were different from them. She didn’t ask him to go back inside if he was feeling better, she knew they didn’t really belong with the screaming celebrating people. They had some piece missing, they needed silence, for a while.

“You know” she said, breaking the melancholic atmosphere in the end, “I wasn’t expecting that from Erwin. Everything but that. I also thought he had already a daughter at home, born from some kind of secret past relationship before working here, but not… that. I don’t know man, it’s weird.”  
“Why” his voice was rusty after not speaking for so long.  
“Because—this is embarrassing, but… he came to you, after knowing you for so long, he came to you and asked you to move here all of a sudden, to work here next to him. He’s known you for a while, hasn’t he? So I thought… I thought…”  
“No” Levi simply said. “It’s not like that.”  
“I wasn’t implying anything about you, or about him! Or between you two—I know it isn’t professional but it just came to my mind that there could be a possibility, you know…”  
“I am gay, if you were wondering.”  
Silence fell between the two of them once again.  
“Oh, okay…”  
“But it’s still not like that. I don’t think Erwin would ever have ‘something’ with someone like me. You get me? He could be anything. He could have anyone. And as we found out tonight, he already has someone he wants, waiting for him at home.”  
“Yeah, well… I just thought he wanted you.”  
Levi breathed fresh air in and out, slowly, a couple of times.  
“Thanks, I guess.”  
“Maybe now is the time to get inside with everyone…”  
“What about you, Hanji-san?”  
Hanji stared at Levi for a moment, with a weird look on her face. Like she was trying to study him. It was indeed the first time Levi showed interest in her, or in anything in general that wasn’t school related, so it was a bit of a surprise for her.  
“I don’t want anyone.” She gave him the time to make up another question, which didn’t come. “I’m fine by myself. Not in the way that I hate everyone in the whole human species but it’s more of the kind ‘I don’t need anything romantic or sexual to go on and live my life happily’. You get me? You can say I’m asexual, if that helps you get my point.”  
“I get it.”  
“You know this is the first time I’ve said this to someone and they actually gave a fuck? And didn’t criticize me? I gotta write this down on my journal, this is an important day. And thank you Levi, let’s get inside.”

 

 

  
He woke up, opened his eyes so suddenly the light hit his eyes too hard, even though there was just a little coming from the window pane. Shutting his eyes again trying to look around, he found out he was in his bedroom, thankfully. He did not remember though, how he happened to be sleeping in his own bed. His memories of the rest of the night were blurry in his mind, someone must have carried him home and made sure he’d fallen asleep in the right place. Probably also checking he wasn’t going to make a mess of himself due to the great amount of alcohol he injected into his veins.  
Considering all of this, Levi was surprisingly okay. He sat up on his bed, studying the surroundings for a while, to check if everything was in place. Then he remember the chat with Hanji. She was the one to take him home. He thanked god once again.  
At least Erwin didn’t see him in that embarrassing state…  
And then it hit him. Erwin, Erwin Smith, going home earlier because his fiancée was waiting for him. They were going to get married soon. And no one knew a thing, well, except for Hanji and him, after last night. He let his mind run in circle around the idea of his superior with an actual family. That didn’t bring him joy, nor sadness. The idea of not being close enough to him to find out sooner about his wedding didn’t shock him. The idea of not having a chance with Erwin didn’t make him miserable, not in the slightest. He never thought that Erwin would want him, in a way that wasn’t school related. But then again, Levi did feel something while thinking about his superior… he felt anger. Jealousy. Because being able to build a family was a dream he still hadn’t given up on. Deep down Levi believed there was a way for him, as well. Erwin unconsciously tore that dream apart.

Levi let himself fall with his back on the mattress once again. He closed his eyes, taking in a sharp breath, trying to calm down those thoughts that were going too far. Thinking about it wouldn’t change things. Nothing would make him feel better about the situation, so there was no use feeling miserable and crying upon his problems for the thousandth time. But then again, when he closes his eyes, there was something that came up in his mind, that forced a little smile on those dehydrated lips…  
“That brat” he muttered, breaking the silence in his empty apartment.  
He saw Eren’s eyes, Eren’s innocent face behind his eyelids, in the dark of the room he could easily imagine that his student was there… Just imagining it would harm no one, he thought…  
And so his mind went far away, with those eyes still closed: he saw Eren lying next to him in his bed, for some obvious reasons he was only wearing pyjama bottoms.  
I’m gonna give myself a boner if I keep doing this, hell.  
Levi could feel traces of alcohol left in his system and that was enough to catch those thoughts away, encouraging his fantasy to grow in his mind, while something else was itching between his legs that required to be touched.  
“I’m gonna lose my job…” he whispered to himself, proceeding to slide a hand into his pants.  
And that was only the beginning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what u've been waiting for

It had been a while since their last secret meeting together—private class, that was nothing but a private class. Eren had to remind himself of that, from time to time, since his head would play tricks on him and make him believe that there was actually something, between him and professor Levi. He was keeping track of the days, counting them on his journal –he even started writing down a journal, that was the point of his developing crush- and he’d noted that a whole week passed since Levi spoke to him privately to ask about their next meeti- class. Something must’ve happened, of course, but he was in no position to ask his professor directly about it, he was in no position to reach out for answers that weren’t his personal business. Levi’s private life was out of his limit. And that was driving him crazy. 

“You’re doing it again” Armin whispered into his ear while the crazy science teacher was ranting about something he’d rather not listen to.

Eren shook his head visibly, confirming  Armin’s theories.

“You can’t deny you’re thinking about him, it’s so obvious, you wear your emotions right on your face, for everyone to see.”

“Is it so obvious?” Eren asked him, worried that Mikasa would find out soon. He hadn’t said a single word to her step sister yet.

“It is for me, because you told me who this is about. But I guess for everyone else watching you without knowing, it just looks like you’re hiding something, like a secret crush on someone, not in this class since you would be gazing at her 24/7 if that was the case.” Armin took a deep breath, careful not to get noticed by Hanji at her desk. “Mikasa is not going to find out unless I tell her, and I’m not planning on telling her, so don’t worry about that. I’ve got you covered.”

Eren sighed in relief. But there was another problem, even bigger than the sister who must not find out: he wanted to confront his professor, but had no idea how to. The silence between the two of them was driving him mad, but Armin insisted that Levi would be the one to make a move on him, eventually, if he wanted to keep their ‘thing’ going. So it was a matter of patience, according to Armin. Patience, which Eren lacked completely.

 He struggled for a couple of days more, keeping himself busy playing videogames with Armin –and occasionally Jean, when his best friend would invite him as well- and asking himself if he ever did something wrong to deserve that kind of treatment. When, finally, his moment arrived.

 

“If you have time, I need you to stop by my office after classes. Of course if it isn’t too much of a burden for you.”

That was professor Levi’s words, he spoke slowly, with a slight hint of harshness in his voice. Their class just ended and he made sure no one would be listening to their conversation while he asked Eren.

Eren thought that was it, between them. He would ask him to stop meeting after classes.

He was not completely wrong.

 

When the last bell rang, Eren was already standing outside Levi’s office. His hands were shaking, he wanted it to be over quickly, so he could go home and scream as loud as he could to get all that adrenaline out of his system.

He heard Levi’s voice coming from the inside, “Get in!” he ordered.

And Eren obeyed.

 

The sight of those bright eyes, in contrast with the dark circles underneath them, made his stomach twist and Eren had to take a deep breath trying to calm down. Levi could tell how nervous his student was, but he didn’t say a word to break the tension, this time.

Eren didn’t notice, but his professor was nervous as well. 

After an intense moment of staring at each other, Levi opened his mouth to speak and he could only whisper a soft “Eren…” before the student standing in front of him snapped.

“I’m not going to sit down if you ask me to. I already obeyed your other two orders. I came here, even though it doesn’t feel like the best decision in my life. I came in, because you ordered. Just know that… I’m not going to just stand here, while you tell me to never speak to you again. To never meet you again, after classes. I can’t ignore it. I can’t ignore you.”

 

_What the hell is with this guy…_

Levi passed his fingers through his hair, making it messier and massaging his head. That kid was out of control, for sure.

He called him in his office for a reason, it was difficult, even for him, and now Eren wasn’t even giving him a chance of explaining…?

He must have worn a shocked expression on his face, because after saying those words, Eren stopped speaking. Levi could feel he wanted to say so much more, but his surprise and shock must have caught Eren’s eye, so he stopped.

“You just realized, didn’t you” Levi spoke, slowly. “That the whole thing that is playing in your head _isn’t_ the actual reason I called you here today.”

“What are you…?” Eren managed to ask, out of breath.

“Stop making assumptions, kid. When you don’t even know a _thing_ about me.”

 

There was it again. That feeling of not being able to do anything in the world to ever get closer to him. Professor Levi seemed so out of reach, even now that they were alone, standing a few centimeters from each other.

 "I wanted to talk, that’s right. What you didn’t guess was, I wanted to _talk_ , like in I say something and you actually get a saying, too. I wanted to hear you out. I wanted to ask you things. Is that okay for you? Or you have something else to shout at me before we get started?”

Eren swallowed. After a couple of seconds, he nodded.

“I’m sorry” he just muttered.

“That’s a good boy.”

Another rush of adrenaline shook the body of the student, making him feel so fragile compared to his professor, but also ecstatic at the same time.

 “I thought about asking you to stop seeing me, that is true, but I would never have ordered something like that to you before knowing your opinion about this. You’re entitled an opinion on this matter, whether you think I care about it or not. Things can be done, or undone, by the both of us so I wouldn’t cut the bridges between us without asking if it was okay for you, too.”

Eren swallowed again. There was something he was missing, in his professor’s speech. He wouldn’t dare to ask, though… why would Levi want to distance him? Eren was scared about the possibility, maybe for the reason behind it would mean Levi finding out that Eren was attracted to him, but at that point, what was the worst case scenario…? Levi knowing or Levi leaving him? There was definitely something he was missing.

 Levi looked at him for a good bunch of seconds before opening his mouth again. He studied those big green eyes for a while before taking a deep breath, and exposing himself.

He took a step towards him. Then another. Then again, another one. Slowly walking  towards him, he spoke again.

“Why do you care so much about seeing me?”

Silence fell between their bodies and filled the room. So it was Levi’s time to ask questions.

“I thought I was just imagining things, but you gave me quite an obvious hint I was right about it, before” he encouraged Eren to answer him.

“I don’t know exactly.. it’s not easy to explain…”

“I have time and I’m a literary professor, I can help with words.”

Eren stared at him, mouth half opened. He really was going to say it…?

“I… Feel… Something. That I don’t know what it is, let’s just say this. I feel something, it scares me but it seems to be like, pretty strong? Something I have never experienced before, for that I don’t know how to deal with it. Talking to friends didn’t seem like a good idea. So I kept it for myself.” _That’s_ _a lie, Eren, you know Armin knows_ , he thought to himself. But admitting someone else knew already was too risky.

“Go on” Levi encouraged him. “You’re doing just fine with words, see?”

“Professor Levi… Why do you want to know? Even if I say that I have feelings for you, that I don’t even know how to classify, what are you going to do with this?! You can’t return them! You can’t possibly know what’s going on, let alone help me!! Why do you want me to say it?!”

Without realizing, Eren began shouting at Levi again.

Thank god everyone was already back home at that point, so no one would hear them passing by the corridors.

“Why do you want me to say that a stupid student fell for his teacher?! _God_ , this is so…!” 

Levi wore that expression again. This time he was sure Eren noticed it, and knew why he was wearing it. It was a mix between shock, surprise, but also that satisfaction of knowing the truth, finally.

Eren felt tears stream down his cheeks. He felt humiliated. Saying those embarrassing things, revealing himself in front of the person that should never have found out about all this…

But then Levi closed the space between their bodies and embraced him.

It was a hug. From professor Levi.

The last thing Eren was expecting to happen.

“You’re being too hard on yourself, Eren…” Levi whispered into his ear. “You remind me of someone I know.”

Eren stood there, letting himself go in that embrace, letting the tears flow for a while, until they stopped, until he caught his breath again and was feeling fine again.

“I’m sorry… for shouting at you… Twice” Eren mumbled, wiping away his face with the sleeve.

“I like someone who talks back” Levi admitted, giggling.

Eren still had so many questions in his head, like why was he playing along? Why the hug? Why wasn’t he angry at his student, or not even disgusted a little? All it took was looking at Eren in the eyes to understand those unanswered questions, and so Levi gave him what he needed to know. 

“ I had my suspicions, you know. I always saw you looking at me in a certain way. It was no coincidence, after all. I was a bit afraid you didn’t know what you were going for. I’ve always been gay, you know. All my life. But the first time I saw you, on the train, you didn’t catch my eye like ‘the guy that would fall for me’. You didn’t seem pretty interested, not only in me, but in men, that is all I thought. Guess I was wrong on that.”

“Well, I was pretty interested, from that day. Oh wait—you remember me, on the train? The first day of school? I thought-“

“Yes, Eren, when I walked into the new class I recognized you immediately. How could someone forget your eyes?”

 

Levi suggested they left the office soon after, it was getting late in the afternoon and maybe Eren’s friends and family would worry about him not coming home after school. Eren called Mikasa to tell her he would be out with Armin for a while, also remembering to ask Armin to cover him up for the rest of the day. What would Eren do without his best friend?

Eren was still feeling ecstatic, while walking down the street with professor Levi. He agreed on being called just Levi, but Eren needed to get a hold of that, since in front of him it wasn’t as easy as when he was only talking about him with Armin.

“I guess bringing you to my house wouldn’t be a good idea, would it?”

“It’s fine by me, no one will see us there, right?” Eren asked, hungry for some information on his private life.

“Yeah, I live alone, after all.”

Levi didn’t expose himself too much, back in the office. Eren was curious, no, he was more than that. He was anxious, he needed to know more and more about Levi, he wanted to see his place, but more importantly he needed to know if professor Levi was only  being nice to him or if he was being _nice_ as in ‘I could want you back’. Eren still didn’t know that.

Levi drove him to his place, almost without saying a word in the whole ride. Eren was still nervous, nothing could ever calm him down. Sitting in his professor’s car, watching him drive, hell- he was even quite scared of looking right at him while he was driving. So Eren only caught glimpses of him, with the corner of his eye. When they finally arrived, Levi walked him to the apartment door, silent. He didn’t open his mouth until they were both inside.

Then, when the door closed behind Eren’s shoulders, Levi turned around to face him and pinned him, right on that wooden door.

Levi’s breath was hot on his neck, it sent shivers down Eren’s spine. He swallowed hard, not knowing if he was dreaming or if that was really happening.

His shoulders were pressed on the door, he couldn’t seem to move, but more than that, he didn’t want to move; Levi looked up to him and when their eyes met, Levi instantly lowered them to stare at Eren’s lips, those he’d desired for so long.

“Can I…?” Levi asked, but before he could finish, Eren had already breathed out a week ‘yes’ and Levi’s lips were on him. All over him.

Levi was already licking Eren’s lips, pushing with his whole body on the younger’s, making him feel overwhelmed, so that Eren had no choice but open up his lips and let him in; Levi could finally, _finally_ get a taste of Eren, lick inside his mouth, slowly and carefully, like he’d been hungry for that for years.

It didn’t feel like Eren was the one fallen for his professor, not at all. Eren’s mind was a mess of _he’s really kissing me_ and _I can feel something press against me and it definitely isn’t his leg_ , but most of all, every single one of his doubts was gone. Levi wanted him just as much as he wanted Levi.

“This is bad” Levi spoke his thoughts out loud, without realizing.

“I think so too, maybe we should get to your bedroom…” Eren said, panting hard.

Levi laughed. It was unexpected, it was probably Eren’s first time hearing something like that. Honestly he never even thought he could hear him, so he considered himself pretty lucky and blessed.

“Did I say something funny…?”

“You think I’m just gonna fuck you like I don’t have a conscience, don’t you…?”

Levi was still giggling but Eren wasn’t smiling anymore.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“Can I at least take you out to dinner first?”

It was Eren’s time to laugh, now. He agreed to dinner. Levi had to deal with his hard on later, alone in the shower, after Eren had already got home. But he agreed to dinner, he even confessed, so it wasn’t as bad, after all. Life didn’t seem as bad anymore.


End file.
